I had my Hands in my Pockets at the Time

I'm ready!

I'm 'ear, now.
It's been a grand day, today, hasn't it? Yes, it 'as.
And it'll be a grand day tomorrow if it keeps like this!
I don't think we shall have any snow, this Summer, shall we?
Get ready, now!

It's years and years and years and years, since last I had a fight,
An argument arose on politics the other night,
When I told a fella', 'ee was wrong, he gave me such a punch,
Right in the very regions, where I always keep my lunch.
But, I 'ad me 'ands in me pockets at the time,
Yes, I 'ad me 'ands in me pockets at the time,
There's not the slightest doubt,
I ought have knocked 'im out,
But, I 'ad me 'ands in me pockets at the time,

It's a good job I 'ad, and all,
Because if I'd taken them out,
He'd 'ave known I was going to hit 'imm!
Not me!
I was a bit to wize for 'him that time!
He only 'it me once, but I'm satisfied.
Second!

Now, to attend a ball I got, addressed, to on the Hire,
It gave tham all a treat, to see me in such smart attire.
A lady picked me out and said, "do come and dance with me,"
I wanted to oblige her, but I couldn't for, y'see...
I 'ad me 'ands in me pockets at the time,
Yes, I 'ad me 'ands in me pockets at the time,
For though I looked a Don,
I'd got no braces on,
But, I 'ad me 'ands in me pockets at the time,

Aye, and t'worst of it is I'd no buttons on, either.
I think I'll go 'ome now and get some on.
I'm going...

I'm gone...

No, I think I'll come back.
Does anybody want to treat me?
Has any--, a'a, has anybody know if there's a glass o'beer that wants a home?
I can give it 'un, if you like...
Are we finished now?
I'm just talking, now, you know, just to waste time, just while this record's goin' through now, because, I've got nowt else to say at all...
Is that right?
Champion.